Friday, November 20, 2009

I will always have Hope

Can anyone describe the meaning of the word hope? Without looking at a dictionary, just off the top of your head when you think hope, you think?...

Tomorrow, no matter how great today was or wasn't, you always hope for a better tomorrow.

Your children, you hope they have a better childhood and future that you had.

Hope can mean so many things but it always has a basis. For the rest of my life, I will no longer think of hope as just a word, but a person, and angel.

You know you always hear that god has a plan for you, that god put you on this earth for a reason and we have to figure out what that is. Well, Hope has a purpose, I believe she was brought here to bring a little bit of light into our lives.

About 9months after moving here I got invited to this crafts and conversations thing. Of course I said yes, I hated being cooped up in the house with nothing to do, with a 9month old. I had friends but I had 2 friends and that was it. I invited my friend Molly to come with me, we were so timid walking into the chapel on base, we didn't know what to do or anything.

Then these people walked in, they both sat next to us and just started talking. One looked like she was knitting, and the other just talked on and on and on. That's when I met Neighbor Debbie and Hope. They explained to us what to do and that this was just a weekly get away for wives to meet other wives.

Then Hope brought up Compass. She told us all about it and that we should do this next upcoming class. We both said yea why not. Compass was the first thing that I went alone, that I didn't need a friend to ride with me there, I just tried it on my own. But I wasn't alone, I had Hope. She was so excited to see me, she really is great as a Compass Mentor and making you feel special.

If it wasn't for Hope, I wouldn't have ever joined Compass, I wouldn't have such great friends and support group that I have here. And its not like the friendship ended with Compass, it continued, when we went to WA she texted me all the time to see how I was doing. And when Compass started up again that Jan. she made sure I was going to volunteer.

I only got teary eyed about one person leaving this base and that was Molly. Now Hope's husband is retired and even though they will just move a few hours away, again I find myself getting teary eye about losing another part of my military family. It makes me worry about how much I'm going to cry when we leave here in July to Sicily. The navy takes you here kicking and screaming all the way, just to move you again...kicking and screaming.

Hope, like you said the other day in Mentor training, you are like an adopted mama to me. I will miss you so much, I will miss seeing your face at Compass and keeping it energetic. I will miss your southern sayings that I have never heard in my life. You've done so much for me, that I don't think you have realized. You've made this command bearable to me and an enjoyment, you got me into blogging and then the next thing I know I'm writing my own book (which when I do finish it I will send you a copy). I really don't know where I would be without you, thank you so much for your friendship and hospitality. And I know its not goodbye cause I know we will see each other again, I mean I got to take Brock to Disney World sometime, but its just going to be hard not having you around all the time. God has blessed you with joy and kindness, and you will always be in our prayers and apart of our military family.

Welcome to the civilian world, I will always have hope in the military and in life, because I found Hope while I was here.

Being Skinny has its downsides

I love to shop, just as much as the next lady but have you ever felt like nothing fits you?

I find the cutest clothes but i'm just to skinny or too short...when does it end?!

All i wanted was a pea coat, a cute one too. So we went to Maurces where I have been durling over this fleace pea coat for weeks, we finally had the money so on the way home from a 4hr day of shopping....we had to stop at that store for that one thing that I wanted and all I was getting that day...guess what? They had 4 of them, and not one small!!! So I looked around and thought well maybe I don't need that certain one, I can get a wool one...before I even looked at the sizes I stopped to look at the price...HECK NO I'M NOT PAYING NO $80 FOR A COAT!!! So we moved on...and all the other coats they had there...not one, not one size small. The lady asked if she could call another store for me to see if they have one and I said forget it, we've been out to long today. I was crushed :(

We got back in the car, and my hubby mentioned that old navy did have a lot of pea coats some that even looked like the one I wanted, just without the wrap. So I said okay lets try it. And to my surprise they didn't even have a medium! UGH! So depresed we went home.

Then I thought...its modren times, we are all blessed with online shopping! So guess what first online store i went to...yep, Maurces. I found my coat and my hopes started to build up and I click on the down arrow for size and only option was XLarge. How is it that they only have one size...ONLINE?!!!

So I tried Old Navy...samething. Upset I just quit for the day.

And today, I started the search over again. Aeropostal, its one of my favorite stores, they have pea coats and their cute! Guess what size they all were, I don't even want to say you know....

I searched all over, I found some cheap ones on cant figure out their sizes. Then American Eagle...yea I'm not paying $100 for a coat...I might as well get the real thing at the clothing store on base. Then it clicked to me, berlington coat factory, why I wouldn't think them...I don't know. But still none I liked and the ones I did, not in my size. I tried one more store...Kohls.

You know Kohls say to expect great things! I did not expect to see a pea coat that I like in my size at a decent price! SCORE! Just missing my debit card so I have to wait for the hubby to get home. So I shopped some more at Areo online, he came home to see what I have found, and my reasonable hubby says, how about my next weekend off we go try on everything you have in your shopping cart right now. LOL

I just hope that A: They have that pea coat at Kohls, in the next 6days, and B: If they don't that its still avalible online...if A and B don't work, I just might have to kill my hubby for trying to be reasonable!

So is it just me or does anyone else have this same issue?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Welcome Back

"Welcome back," Yes thank you, I know ya'll are thinking this because it has been forever and a half since I have blogged, but I have rediscovered my blogging need. I love to write, and when I discovered blogging thanks to Miss Hope, I had filled a little hole in my life. I do not know why I stopped but what matters is I am back.

Since last April as ya'll know we got extended here in Kingsbay, GA. Thats right no Sicily! At least not when we entended on going. The biggest upset was not going home, we had planned that I would go home for about 4months to pay off our debt, besides the car. But after a few days of being upset and hating the navy I came to my senses in the fact that all things happen for a reason and there are some positives to us not moving right now. It finally came down to a "Whew! What a big move we just dodged!" I really don't think we were ready for that big move quit yet. Now don't get me wrong we have not lost our orders and we are still going to Sicily, in July to be exact.

Also we almost got our son potty trained! Our methods my be a bit strange but hey it works. What we did: Let Brock run around naked. He peed in the potty and held his poop, till one day he had his first accedent. Brock was very upset about the whole situation we just told him its okay and next time please make to the bathroom at least. A week later we had poop in the bathroom and he was letting us know when he had to go. The only problem was and still is, he has a hudge problem sitting and pooping at the sametime, but its a work in progress. After this coming week we are going to try to wear undies, hopefully since he has a problem going in dipers he will catch on fast.

I just want to appoligize I have not been on, and I am going to try to get on more often now. Kind of like I used to.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Upates updates updates

First of all may i say sorry for not coming on as much as i mean to anymore, life is just getting a little hecktic, but i will update you on it.

Brocks World:
Brocks anckel is fully healed and hes been trying to run, but that usally ends in a face plant. He peed in the potty the other day 3times! I give him the fact that he was starting elsewhere but as soon as i grabed him he stopped till we got to the potty. That boy is still in our bed, and we're saving up money to get him a twin size bed, so we can kick him out. That boys mind is expanding everyday, it amazes me. He just started counting, he can count to 3. And hes gotten in to a coloring mode, everyday he colors.
He had a good easter, he went on a easter egg hunt, his first one and he did great.

The hubbys world:
My husbands schedule changed again. (y i haven't had time to blog) His schedule got our schedule all messed up! So my hubby works 3days, and during those three days hes 8hrs on 8hrs off. INSANE! Then the fallowing day is training, after that 2days off. But he hardly gets those 2days off. So i don't get to see my husband, brock has become paranoid and wont sleep when daddy is home. So we have late nights and early mornings and somedays no naps....i'm wearing thin...the whole family is.

My world:
I just started pure romance! yay! i had my first sale today! yay! And as of now my first party will be the third! yay!
My book, as far as that goes is on hold. once my nanny! billys cousin comes here to help us out i will have time to excape so i can write my book.
As far as my friend goes, well after i read her message off myspace she texted me asking if we were still friends. I told her to be honest i'm offended, and i will just need sometime to think. But i still texted her and stuff. And i even invited her to girls dinner night while the hubbys were working.
If your going to hold yourself on a pedastole and judge weather or not people are disrespectful then don't act it!!!! She came into the resterant w/a friend i said hi to them her friend said hi back. "my friend" said nothing. She didn't say a thing throughout dinner, and when i said goodbye...nothing. So i'm not bothering w/her anymore.
A few days ago we went swiming w/a group of people. I brought along molly, because i heard "that friend" was going. I brought molly so i can while billy is playing in the water, take molly and brock to a side of the beach so we can enjoy ourselves and not have an akward tention w/that one girl there.
I felt a little bad and almost said hi to her. Because while her husband was out in the water w/mine she was all alone. But i didn't because like i said i tried and she didn't put forth any effort, so i have washed my hands of her.
Other than that things are going okay, i have my depressed days from not seeing my hubby as much but it all goes away when he gets a day off. And it gets put on the back burner when i got out, so i'm trying to do that more, brock likes it. I'm excited that compass is starting again...hopefully we can get brock on a normal schedule w/it....

O! i almost forgot. Billys grandma called to let us know his greatgrandma is selling her house. She is going to try to talk the price down for us, so we could have a chance in buying it. Then we will rent it out till we are out of the military and can go home. The house its self is small, one bedroom, one bathroom, and a basment. But the yard! IS 50ACRES!!!! How nice would that be? i know it seem impossible for us, for how young we are but i am still praying like crazy, because it would be nice to have a house where we want it when we come home. Also Brock would be able to grow up right next to his greatgrandma. Please say a little prayer for us.

Heres some pics for ya'll:

Friday, March 27, 2009

Friends Come and Go

We threw a St. Patricks day party. It turned out great, and we had a lot of fun. One of the ladies there, was my first friend here. Shes done a lot to make me question her attitude on things but i think i held on to her for so long because I love her son and like i said she was my first friend away from home.
Well everyone was having fun at the party, when all of a sudden she stands up gathers her stuff and storms out of the house. Then she came back in, grabed her son. I felt like i had to ask if she was leaving because i had a feeling she wasn't going to say goodbye. I thought she left because of her son was a little grouchy and ready for a nap. that turned out to only be part of the problem, she was just having family issues. Well me not knowing whats going on, and everyone else not knowing we all thought she was mad at someone or me.
Well to be honest i just ignored it. It bugged me but really not enough to say something a cause a confrontation about it. I hate confrontation, when my husband and i were dating i would always write him notes stating i had a problem with him. It took us getting married for me to tell him that he pissed me off w/out writing it out for him.
A few days after the party my husband and i were just talking about it, how much fun it was and ect. He then asks me what was wrong with blah blah blah. (im not going to state her name for respect for her) I said what do you mean? I think she was just mad because her son needed a nap and was having a melt down. He said oh i didn't know about that, i was talking about when she ripped her sons sippy out of Brocks hand. Shocked i said WHAT? I never saw that. He said ya i didn't say anything because i thought i might have been over reacting because i was drinking. But now that i think about it, i wasn't. I was ferious. I can forgive the way she acted at my house the way she left but treating my son like that i feel there is no excuse.
So i wrote her a email on myspace stating the way she acted and how i felt towards it. Hope read it and made sure it was more of a i feel then a attacking email:

Hey Blank
There are a few things bugging me about our party on Tues. I just want to let you know I still want to be your friend, its just you did a few things that upset not only me but Billy off too.

First of all Billy saw you rip one of Ben’s sippy cups out of Brocks hands. He didn’t say anything because he thought he might be over reacting because he was drinking. But as the days went along after that it started to bug him. I know that it wasn’t Brocks sippy but you could have just nicely taken it out of Brocks hands or made a trade with him for his sippy. I understand that it wasn’t Brocks but how should Brock no better when A: He’s only 15monhts old and B: you’ve let him drink out of it before. Please just don’t do that again it.

Also when you left. I know its hard watching a baby by yourself for 2weeks. But I’ve done it before, many of times, when I drove to Ohio when Brock was 8months old by myself. Also every wife in the section has experience the long working days where for weeks-months the guys just come home to eat and sleep. You think we get extra help with the babies? No. I know that w/out help you get stressed, everyone does. But when I go to your house or anyone else’s house with Brock alone and he starts to act out I keep my cool let you know I have to go because of Brock and you understand. We understood why you had to leave but you didn’t have to storm out of my house like that. I really didn't know if you were upset with me or someone at my house. If I upset you? Next time please let me know instead of leaving like you did.

I hope we can still be friends, because I like hanging out with you and seeing Ben, but the way you acted that day I felt was really rude. I hope we could just put this behind us. I just had to get this off of my chest. I’ll talk to you later.


I thought it was a really nice way of saying the way she acted i didn't like. All i wanted at most from it was a appology and for us to move on. At least for us to move on and her to never act like that at my house. Well she took it the wrong way. She wrote back, the first 2pharagraphed explained the why she acted the way she did. And after that i thought well maybe i'll write her back saying if she needs to vent i'm always here then i read the 3rd paragraph. That really upset me, and i'm in no mood to talk to her for awhile, i just need to cool down before seeing her again or replieing to her message.
She wrote:


First I would like to explain what happened with the sippy cup. I was sitting on the couch with ben in my arms trying to feed him a bottle to get him to take a nap. I had the sippy cup hidden behind my diaper bags and beside my leg. Brock must have leaned over them to reach it. By the time i noticed he had it he had already drank half of the juice. I did not have anymore juice for ben with me or at home. That was why i couldnt let brock just drink it, plus as you have said its expensive. When i was taking the sippy cup from Brock I was taking it how I normally do from him with very little force. He started to let go but when it started to come out of his mouth he decided to bite the nipple of the sippy and pulled really hard. I was caught off guard and if I had let go of the sippy cup Brock would have flown backwards onto the floor and hit his head. In that second I chose to have him go forward falling on the diaper bags so he wouldnt get hurt. Unfortunatly no one was watching Brock at the time and due to the fact I had Ben in my arms I was unable to retrieve Brocks sippy cup to exchange. I know it looked really bad but unfortunatly I was left with very little options. I am sorry that it turned out like that.

As I told you already I left for personal reasons which had nothing to do with anyone at your party. I will explain a little about why I left but not in great detail. I believe I have told you before my family is fighting. My dad tried calling me earlier that day at your house but I didnt answer because i thought he was just checking up. Since I didnt answer he later sent a text message telling me something that really upset me. My family issues have taken a turn for the worst and I needed to leave imediately to call my dad and find out what happened. I was really upset and im sure everyone saw and I was in no mood to explain in front of everyone. I did speak with you before I left and apologized for leaving so abruptly and I did tell you I would try to come back later. I needed to leave anyways due to Ben needing a nap, I didnt have his dinner, and the dogs needed to be let out. I even texted you later telling you I was coming back, but Ben was too tired for me to return. I wouldn't have said that if I had a problem with you.

I would have appreciated if you had come to me and asked in a nice manner what had happened once you first started thinking about it. The more you think about things the tend to get exaggerated in your mind and I do understand why you are upset, but you should always ask what happens before you jump to conclusions. I have been watching and taking care of kids since I was 13 and I was offended at your accusation that I was in some way trying to hurt your son. I also did not appreciate you contacting me by myspace it showed me how little respect you have for me. Please dont ask me to talk to you in person if I have a problem with you and you dont even give me the same curtesy. There was other was other ways to handle this situation and you chose one of the most disrespectfull ways to do it. You know how your husband has a problem with people cheating, I have a problem with disrespect. I have lost many friends because of them disrespecting me or someone I cared about. I would like things to be cleared up between us, but I know our friendship wont be how it used to be. Its going to take time for it to be back to normal. I would still like to hang out with you and Brock. Im willing to give our friendship a second chance. I hope you are too.


She texted me today asking if i read it and asking if we're still friends. I just told her i'm honestly offend right now being called disrespectful. Not to toot my own horn but i believe i am a very respectful person even if i don't like you (unless i get drunk the truth then comes out) But i try to be respectful, fair and nice to everyone i know and meet. I told her i would have to have time to cool down after the message she sent me and maybe sometime to think. I told her sry. She hasn't replied, so i think she just answered her own question.

In some ways i wish i never brought it up, but then again i had to say something about the sippy. Billy says it went down differently. And i'm glad i didn't see it because i probably be posting a blog right now about how i kicked someone out of my house.

Ugh, thats how i feel right now...i graduated high school...i should be done with this drama.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

everybody is sick

My weekend started off okay. Thursday night the hubbs and I had a nice date, except during the middle of our movie i get a phone call from the sitter. "Brock just puked, do you got a thermometer or Tylenol?" I told her where everything was, she said he still seemed fine and to finish our date. He didn't puke the rest of the night.

Since he was acting normal we didn't think anything of it...except when I woke up at 3am in a cold sweat, and puking myself. Because of no temperature and the curse of the women i quickly thought..."O crap could i be pregnant." Then i thought maybe it was the sea food i ate on my date, its been years since i had sea food because i got sick on it then. To top it all off, my mom was flying in from WA. My mom and i have a awkward relationship as is, and we're trying to mend it, i don't need to be sick while shes here.

It went fine, i went to Walmart not thinking i haven't eaten all day because i felt nausea all day. I almost past out at walmart waiting to check out. But i made it home safe and in the mood for some subway. I ate half of my foot long and was ready to puke again. My mom left, and I layed Brock down with me to get him to go to sleep early. As soon as he calmed down and rolled over, he started coughing. Then that nasty puking smell stunk like sour milk and it was in my bed! I quickly grabbed Brock before our conferter got splattered on too, and i looked for something to clean him up. When from behind me I hear a puking noise fallowed by a splatter noise all over my bedroom floor!

So now i got it all over me, all over Brock and my room is redecorated. Trying not to puke myself i had to clean the mess, before drawing Brock a bath. Brock slept good all night...i didn't. So i guess i got sick from him. I texted Brocks sitter about it and she said, "yeah he got me sick too." She ended up in the ER about 9 that night. While i lived in the bathroom for 2hrs.

The next morning i felt better. But i was itchy. I went to wake Billy up scratching myself, telling him i must have gotten attracted last night by bugs. Just then i looked down and I'm covered in a nice spotted rash. All over my arms, my chest, my back and my thighs. I did a rub down with benadril itching cream and although it looked awful i felt a lot better.

At 5am Sunday morning Billy comes home from work, complaining about his stomach hurting. Great hes sick too but he wasn't puking at first. Then that came, he had to take the day off, because he was to shaky to stand.

I woke up, barley able to walk. Every joint in my body hurt. And still does. Closing my hands hurt.

But the bright side of my weekend is Brock is walking again, hes limping a little but at least hes trying now. I learned that i am a size 2 jean now. And although it was great to see her it was great to see my mom leave. The unspoken tension is gone.

I'm hoping next weekend goes better. I'm ready to rest for a few days.

Monday, March 9, 2009

my weekend

The weekend started of okay.

My hubby was ditching me to hang with his friends, Friday night. But it was okay since he only seems to go out once a year. That was until at 5am i get a call, "were going to the beach!" After hanging up with him it took me an hour to process what was just said and what was going on. Oh hell no. I called him up telling him i was upset that he had kind of abused his privileges. I told him he could stay out don't bother turning around even though he wanted to because he felt bad. He told me to call him when i woke up.

I woke up at about 8 and called him. i asked where he was and he said i don't want to tell you, you'll be mad. Well, tell me, you don't know unless you do. He went to DAYTONA!!!!! i kid you not, i wanted to reach through that phone and kill him. There is a difference between going to the beach and going to Daytona. It didn't help either that Brock had woken up with a fever and i had to cancel our date. After yelling at him, he said he come home right away. I saw him about noon. He ran a little late because he had to suck up and buy me something.

It was really sweet, he got me two anklets one means love and the other passion. But he still wasn't off the hook. Brock tempt. lowered quiet a bit so we went to the water front to cheer Brock up. Cheering up it did, that boy ran around forever. When we finally got to the playground i put him in the baby swing, at the time the sun was setting. When we finally got him out of it...kicking and screaming mind you, it was pitch black outside! How do you swing for that long?

We woke up Sunday morning early to hit the cracker barrel for breakfast. Then it was off to the zoo we went. We figured go on a Sunday. Why? Because its the south on a Sunday the zoo would be empty. I'm thinking everyone else in the state of Ga/Fl thought the same thing. It was insane there.

By the time we got through most of the zoo Brock was headed for a melt down. We quickly found the play area for kids. We had just got there when i decided I'll take him down the slide. If i would have known what was going to happen next i would have never gone down that slide. Towards the end of our trip down it his foot got caught between me and the slide. OUCH! We didn't think it was that bad since he was headed for a melt down anyways. It was no surprise to us that he cried as much as he did. We thought that his foot getting caught just set the melt down off.

Feeling bad and thinking it would calm him down we walked/jogged to the gift shop to get him a toy. It wasn't really working, so i tried to set him down to go run around and find something. That's when he went limp on the side he hurt his food and fell into my arms, and started crying again. Then i started to worry. First thing we did....took of his shoe. It was purple, red or swollen. not broken, that's good. We got him a toy and left. He slept the whole way home.

We were thinking about taking him to the ER, but since it wasn't showing symptoms of being broken and he could move his foot and toes we figured wait till morning make him a appt. unless he starts walking on it.

Long story short couldn't make him a appt. went to the ER and i have given my son his first sprained ankle. I feel awful. I keep buying him treats and little toys to make me feel better. It looks like he might be walking by tonight. Finger crossed.