Friday, March 27, 2009

Friends Come and Go

We threw a St. Patricks day party. It turned out great, and we had a lot of fun. One of the ladies there, was my first friend here. Shes done a lot to make me question her attitude on things but i think i held on to her for so long because I love her son and like i said she was my first friend away from home.
Well everyone was having fun at the party, when all of a sudden she stands up gathers her stuff and storms out of the house. Then she came back in, grabed her son. I felt like i had to ask if she was leaving because i had a feeling she wasn't going to say goodbye. I thought she left because of her son was a little grouchy and ready for a nap. that turned out to only be part of the problem, she was just having family issues. Well me not knowing whats going on, and everyone else not knowing we all thought she was mad at someone or me.
Well to be honest i just ignored it. It bugged me but really not enough to say something a cause a confrontation about it. I hate confrontation, when my husband and i were dating i would always write him notes stating i had a problem with him. It took us getting married for me to tell him that he pissed me off w/out writing it out for him.
A few days after the party my husband and i were just talking about it, how much fun it was and ect. He then asks me what was wrong with blah blah blah. (im not going to state her name for respect for her) I said what do you mean? I think she was just mad because her son needed a nap and was having a melt down. He said oh i didn't know about that, i was talking about when she ripped her sons sippy out of Brocks hand. Shocked i said WHAT? I never saw that. He said ya i didn't say anything because i thought i might have been over reacting because i was drinking. But now that i think about it, i wasn't. I was ferious. I can forgive the way she acted at my house the way she left but treating my son like that i feel there is no excuse.
So i wrote her a email on myspace stating the way she acted and how i felt towards it. Hope read it and made sure it was more of a i feel then a attacking email:

Hey Blank
There are a few things bugging me about our party on Tues. I just want to let you know I still want to be your friend, its just you did a few things that upset not only me but Billy off too.

First of all Billy saw you rip one of Ben’s sippy cups out of Brocks hands. He didn’t say anything because he thought he might be over reacting because he was drinking. But as the days went along after that it started to bug him. I know that it wasn’t Brocks sippy but you could have just nicely taken it out of Brocks hands or made a trade with him for his sippy. I understand that it wasn’t Brocks but how should Brock no better when A: He’s only 15monhts old and B: you’ve let him drink out of it before. Please just don’t do that again it.

Also when you left. I know its hard watching a baby by yourself for 2weeks. But I’ve done it before, many of times, when I drove to Ohio when Brock was 8months old by myself. Also every wife in the section has experience the long working days where for weeks-months the guys just come home to eat and sleep. You think we get extra help with the babies? No. I know that w/out help you get stressed, everyone does. But when I go to your house or anyone else’s house with Brock alone and he starts to act out I keep my cool let you know I have to go because of Brock and you understand. We understood why you had to leave but you didn’t have to storm out of my house like that. I really didn't know if you were upset with me or someone at my house. If I upset you? Next time please let me know instead of leaving like you did.

I hope we can still be friends, because I like hanging out with you and seeing Ben, but the way you acted that day I felt was really rude. I hope we could just put this behind us. I just had to get this off of my chest. I’ll talk to you later.


I thought it was a really nice way of saying the way she acted i didn't like. All i wanted at most from it was a appology and for us to move on. At least for us to move on and her to never act like that at my house. Well she took it the wrong way. She wrote back, the first 2pharagraphed explained the why she acted the way she did. And after that i thought well maybe i'll write her back saying if she needs to vent i'm always here then i read the 3rd paragraph. That really upset me, and i'm in no mood to talk to her for awhile, i just need to cool down before seeing her again or replieing to her message.
She wrote:


First I would like to explain what happened with the sippy cup. I was sitting on the couch with ben in my arms trying to feed him a bottle to get him to take a nap. I had the sippy cup hidden behind my diaper bags and beside my leg. Brock must have leaned over them to reach it. By the time i noticed he had it he had already drank half of the juice. I did not have anymore juice for ben with me or at home. That was why i couldnt let brock just drink it, plus as you have said its expensive. When i was taking the sippy cup from Brock I was taking it how I normally do from him with very little force. He started to let go but when it started to come out of his mouth he decided to bite the nipple of the sippy and pulled really hard. I was caught off guard and if I had let go of the sippy cup Brock would have flown backwards onto the floor and hit his head. In that second I chose to have him go forward falling on the diaper bags so he wouldnt get hurt. Unfortunatly no one was watching Brock at the time and due to the fact I had Ben in my arms I was unable to retrieve Brocks sippy cup to exchange. I know it looked really bad but unfortunatly I was left with very little options. I am sorry that it turned out like that.

As I told you already I left for personal reasons which had nothing to do with anyone at your party. I will explain a little about why I left but not in great detail. I believe I have told you before my family is fighting. My dad tried calling me earlier that day at your house but I didnt answer because i thought he was just checking up. Since I didnt answer he later sent a text message telling me something that really upset me. My family issues have taken a turn for the worst and I needed to leave imediately to call my dad and find out what happened. I was really upset and im sure everyone saw and I was in no mood to explain in front of everyone. I did speak with you before I left and apologized for leaving so abruptly and I did tell you I would try to come back later. I needed to leave anyways due to Ben needing a nap, I didnt have his dinner, and the dogs needed to be let out. I even texted you later telling you I was coming back, but Ben was too tired for me to return. I wouldn't have said that if I had a problem with you.

I would have appreciated if you had come to me and asked in a nice manner what had happened once you first started thinking about it. The more you think about things the tend to get exaggerated in your mind and I do understand why you are upset, but you should always ask what happens before you jump to conclusions. I have been watching and taking care of kids since I was 13 and I was offended at your accusation that I was in some way trying to hurt your son. I also did not appreciate you contacting me by myspace it showed me how little respect you have for me. Please dont ask me to talk to you in person if I have a problem with you and you dont even give me the same curtesy. There was other was other ways to handle this situation and you chose one of the most disrespectfull ways to do it. You know how your husband has a problem with people cheating, I have a problem with disrespect. I have lost many friends because of them disrespecting me or someone I cared about. I would like things to be cleared up between us, but I know our friendship wont be how it used to be. Its going to take time for it to be back to normal. I would still like to hang out with you and Brock. Im willing to give our friendship a second chance. I hope you are too.


She texted me today asking if i read it and asking if we're still friends. I just told her i'm honestly offend right now being called disrespectful. Not to toot my own horn but i believe i am a very respectful person even if i don't like you (unless i get drunk the truth then comes out) But i try to be respectful, fair and nice to everyone i know and meet. I told her i would have to have time to cool down after the message she sent me and maybe sometime to think. I told her sry. She hasn't replied, so i think she just answered her own question.

In some ways i wish i never brought it up, but then again i had to say something about the sippy. Billy says it went down differently. And i'm glad i didn't see it because i probably be posting a blog right now about how i kicked someone out of my house.

Ugh, thats how i feel right now...i graduated high school...i should be done with this drama.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

everybody is sick

My weekend started off okay. Thursday night the hubbs and I had a nice date, except during the middle of our movie i get a phone call from the sitter. "Brock just puked, do you got a thermometer or Tylenol?" I told her where everything was, she said he still seemed fine and to finish our date. He didn't puke the rest of the night.

Since he was acting normal we didn't think anything of it...except when I woke up at 3am in a cold sweat, and puking myself. Because of no temperature and the curse of the women i quickly thought..."O crap could i be pregnant." Then i thought maybe it was the sea food i ate on my date, its been years since i had sea food because i got sick on it then. To top it all off, my mom was flying in from WA. My mom and i have a awkward relationship as is, and we're trying to mend it, i don't need to be sick while shes here.

It went fine, i went to Walmart not thinking i haven't eaten all day because i felt nausea all day. I almost past out at walmart waiting to check out. But i made it home safe and in the mood for some subway. I ate half of my foot long and was ready to puke again. My mom left, and I layed Brock down with me to get him to go to sleep early. As soon as he calmed down and rolled over, he started coughing. Then that nasty puking smell stunk like sour milk and it was in my bed! I quickly grabbed Brock before our conferter got splattered on too, and i looked for something to clean him up. When from behind me I hear a puking noise fallowed by a splatter noise all over my bedroom floor!

So now i got it all over me, all over Brock and my room is redecorated. Trying not to puke myself i had to clean the mess, before drawing Brock a bath. Brock slept good all night...i didn't. So i guess i got sick from him. I texted Brocks sitter about it and she said, "yeah he got me sick too." She ended up in the ER about 9 that night. While i lived in the bathroom for 2hrs.

The next morning i felt better. But i was itchy. I went to wake Billy up scratching myself, telling him i must have gotten attracted last night by bugs. Just then i looked down and I'm covered in a nice spotted rash. All over my arms, my chest, my back and my thighs. I did a rub down with benadril itching cream and although it looked awful i felt a lot better.

At 5am Sunday morning Billy comes home from work, complaining about his stomach hurting. Great hes sick too but he wasn't puking at first. Then that came, he had to take the day off, because he was to shaky to stand.

I woke up, barley able to walk. Every joint in my body hurt. And still does. Closing my hands hurt.

But the bright side of my weekend is Brock is walking again, hes limping a little but at least hes trying now. I learned that i am a size 2 jean now. And although it was great to see her it was great to see my mom leave. The unspoken tension is gone.

I'm hoping next weekend goes better. I'm ready to rest for a few days.

Monday, March 9, 2009

my weekend

The weekend started of okay.

My hubby was ditching me to hang with his friends, Friday night. But it was okay since he only seems to go out once a year. That was until at 5am i get a call, "were going to the beach!" After hanging up with him it took me an hour to process what was just said and what was going on. Oh hell no. I called him up telling him i was upset that he had kind of abused his privileges. I told him he could stay out don't bother turning around even though he wanted to because he felt bad. He told me to call him when i woke up.

I woke up at about 8 and called him. i asked where he was and he said i don't want to tell you, you'll be mad. Well, tell me, you don't know unless you do. He went to DAYTONA!!!!! i kid you not, i wanted to reach through that phone and kill him. There is a difference between going to the beach and going to Daytona. It didn't help either that Brock had woken up with a fever and i had to cancel our date. After yelling at him, he said he come home right away. I saw him about noon. He ran a little late because he had to suck up and buy me something.

It was really sweet, he got me two anklets one means love and the other passion. But he still wasn't off the hook. Brock tempt. lowered quiet a bit so we went to the water front to cheer Brock up. Cheering up it did, that boy ran around forever. When we finally got to the playground i put him in the baby swing, at the time the sun was setting. When we finally got him out of it...kicking and screaming mind you, it was pitch black outside! How do you swing for that long?

We woke up Sunday morning early to hit the cracker barrel for breakfast. Then it was off to the zoo we went. We figured go on a Sunday. Why? Because its the south on a Sunday the zoo would be empty. I'm thinking everyone else in the state of Ga/Fl thought the same thing. It was insane there.

By the time we got through most of the zoo Brock was headed for a melt down. We quickly found the play area for kids. We had just got there when i decided I'll take him down the slide. If i would have known what was going to happen next i would have never gone down that slide. Towards the end of our trip down it his foot got caught between me and the slide. OUCH! We didn't think it was that bad since he was headed for a melt down anyways. It was no surprise to us that he cried as much as he did. We thought that his foot getting caught just set the melt down off.

Feeling bad and thinking it would calm him down we walked/jogged to the gift shop to get him a toy. It wasn't really working, so i tried to set him down to go run around and find something. That's when he went limp on the side he hurt his food and fell into my arms, and started crying again. Then i started to worry. First thing we did....took of his shoe. It was purple, red or swollen. not broken, that's good. We got him a toy and left. He slept the whole way home.

We were thinking about taking him to the ER, but since it wasn't showing symptoms of being broken and he could move his foot and toes we figured wait till morning make him a appt. unless he starts walking on it.

Long story short couldn't make him a appt. went to the ER and i have given my son his first sprained ankle. I feel awful. I keep buying him treats and little toys to make me feel better. It looks like he might be walking by tonight. Finger crossed.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

New Blog

Hey i did have two new posts up but after reading them Miss. Hope brought up a good point. I created Bonitas thoughts to post about my present. About Brock and my husband Billy and yet they drive me nuts i still love them.

I have recently started writing a story about my past. With the positive feedback i decided to continue. But Hope said it might be too raw to post on Bonitas thoughts. In note to that i have started a new blog that will consist of my story only. I need as much feedback as possible inorder for it to be great.

It is mostly for my own therapy, but if it can, it would be nice if it ended up helping others about divorice, mostly kids dealing with. To show them that they are never alone. Although they see it all the time and its the new "norm" you feel alone when it happens to you. So i hope you fallow my new blog, comment it and encorage others to read it too.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Sunday, a fun day

Yesterday i was to lazy to go get Brock more milk. The only reason he drinks it is because its his security blanket. That in the right sippy cup works magic, i swear its amazing!

So poor Brock got challenged yesterday with not having milk in his sippy but water. Please congratulate him, he did it. He noticed there wasn't milk in it but he still took it, just had it less. I'll have to keep it in mind for when we start weaning.

I believe Brock's sippy full of water all day and night, resulted in puking in the morning...all over our bed. Poor guy was trying to sleep in with his daddy too. It was about 10 and he usually wakes up at 8 latest.

We had plan to go to the carnival and although Brock was feeling better we decided to skip it anyways. We didn't want a repeat from this morning. So we just went to the waterfront to let the little man run around.

He did good wasn't showing any sign of being sick it was great. We spent about an hour there. I'm surprised we made it that long because it was WINDY! We couldn't keep the hoods to our hoodys up. But Brock loved the wind no matter how cold it was. I was freezing my butt off.

After that we had to venture to walmart. Have you heard the expression its about as crowded as a walmart on Sundays....ya every Sunday after church is crowded at walmart. It was simple though we just needed milk for Brock and food for Billy. He gets to spend two days at work. Not looking forward to it.

We then went home. As soon as we got home I ordered a pizza online for us, for lunch and dinner. It was because we thought Billy would be leaving the house a little before dinner time. So after about an hour and no pizza i finally called domino's, a little bit peeved. They had informed me that the lady had left to deliver our pizza about 20mins ago. I'm no idiot i know where domino's is, it takes 15mins tops to get there from my house. About 5mins later she showed up. I take it she doesn't get that many tips. I don't tip if your late especially if I found out you left 20mins ago! I'm a harsh costumer.

So the night went on. Billy got ready for work at about 530 and left a little before 6. Brock wont fall asleep for his naps if Billy is home. So as soon as he left Brock grabbed his sippy and cuddled with me on the couch. Not even 5mins went by he was out.

At about 15 till 7 i get a phone call from Billy. I'm thinking hes breaking the rules and calling me while standing post. *tisk tisk* Nope i was wrong and so was his MA1 and everyone else that told him he had to start at 630. Nope he doesn't have to be there till 1230 tonight. So he came back home, in the middle of me doing my blog and wanted special attention since Brock was sleeping. Ya i knew it wouldn't work because Brock was just taking a nap. Hes awake and has been 15mins after Billy came home.

I'm going to enjoy as much time with my hubby before he leaves me for two days. Till then enjoy our pictures from today.